Saturday, August 04, 2012

Movie Review: Jism 2

When you take someone as sexy as Randeep Hooda, and add a porn star to the mix, you do not really expect an art film. What you do expect is a lot of great action, on and off the bed. And when you get neither, I guess it's fair to say that the movie really must be setting new lows.


Let's start with the story, a plot so thin, it was probably written on a restaurant napkin. Officer Ayan (Arunoday Singh) and his boss (Arif Zakaria) of the "Indian Intelligence Bureau" beg and plead with a porn star Izna (Sunny), to get into the bedroom and do "all that" (with a wink) to get them "data from the laptop" of a cop-turned-crazy-assassin Kabir (Randeep Hooda), who's allegedly killed countless cops, famous personalities and politicians in this country. The plan is simple. Izna is Kabir's ex, and she is now tasked with drawing him out while Ayan steals the data. Will she be able to seduce Kabir, or will he read her? And predictably, when Ayan falls in love with Izna, how will it impact the grand scheme of things?

The execution is so poor, the dialogues so raw, and the sex so boring that you end up waiting for those moments of unintentional comedy, contributed to very ably by what should be one of the worst new comer gigs in history (Arunoday). Oversized shoulders and chest (almost puts Sunny to shame), lanky hands that do not know where to rest, pathetic timing and dialogue delivery, and a face that makes you cry, one really wonders what was the criteria used for selection of the cast. Sunny looks hot, as long as she keeps her mouth shut and struts her lingerie. With topless back shots and underwear inside jackets as her formal wear, she does use her assets to the fullest. Randeep has a good start as the sexy bad good cop, but has very little to do except play his cello and have sex so bland, you feel sorry for him after a while, and can almost understand why he turned bad! Arif is an accomplished actor, but Jism shows what a bad script and director can do to even the best!


The screenplay is absolutely amateurish and would laughable if it was not as irritating. When Izna hands Kabir a love letter written in her blood, he sniffs it like a dog sniffing his bitch's ass! "Kaash mere khoon ka rang mere ishq ki tarah gehra hota", she rues.


Some more inspirational dialogues:


"Hum dono ek doosre se jhooth bol sakte hain par iss jism ka kya karen?"
"Aao iss lamhe ko jee lete hain. Amar kar dete hain."
"Tumhe pata hai ki ek terrorist ko maarna punya hai, murder nahi!"

The sound track is pathetic, another redeeming feature of many a bad movie that's completely missing in Jism 2. There is nothing really positive about the movie, and sadly, even the beautiful locales of Sri Lanka are completely wasted on the altar of Sunny's lingerie collection.

Well, I warned you.

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