A mentor is someone you trust and admire and believe in - only as long as he does and says what you want him to do! The moment his advice and action go against your wants and needs, he ceases to even be a friend :)
A mentor is someone who understands the insecurities of his mentees and does not mind repeating the same damn things ten thousand times if that's what it takes to make them believe in themselves and continue doing the right thing..
Quite surprised and sad to see that statement coming from you.
I don't understand why disagreements have to be always interpreted this way. Two friends and a mentor and a mentee can "agree to disagree". By expecting that two people would always agree on everything, you are saying that both of you would think exactly alike - and no - that is not possible.
Firstly, I am not saying two people have to think exactly alike. As you said, two can agree to disagree. But that's exactly the problem - people do not do that!
And frankly, friends can agree to disagree - but I do think that when you consider someone a mentor, you need to have blind faith in that person's ability to do what is best for you. Otherwise, do not consider him/her a mentor! Simple as that! Else, how can your mentor ever pull you away from a wrong path, how can a mentor ever perform corrective surgery on you, how can your mentor ever make you see what is right and what is wrong? In that case, a mentor is just a feel good factor for you, since someone you "admire and respect" is always in agreement with you - aren't you super cool?
Firstly, I do not think anyone at all should have "blind faith" in anybody else. Neither a mentee, nor a friend for that matter. Blind faith keeps you from any reasoning or thinking of your own.
A mentor can only guide a mentee and tell him what is wrong and right - based on the mentor's perspectives and experiences. Remember, for the mentee, these are always going to be second hand experiences, which you would agree can never be the same as first hand experiences. It is not necessary that the mentee agrees to what the mentor says always, as the mentee grows and see things around, he invariably is going to start having his own thoughts and his own ideas about what is wrong and what is right. That is growing up - you cannot do anything about it.
As a mentor, you can only try and steer the mentee on a path that you as a senior or as mentor think is right. It is best left to the mentee whether he / she agrees with you and wants to follow.
And perhaps, it is best to not confuse between a friendship and a mentor-mentee relationship. You are talking about both the things together in your blog.
I do want to mix the two, because I am talking about a mentor in the context of personal relationships. And I am not talking about being religious gurus. So yes, I do think that you can be a mentor only when you are a friend first.
Sure - I never said you are talking about being religious gurus. Please - I am sure that was never the point.
And yes, to a certain extent a mentor needs to be a friend first, otherwise people are not going to trust you enough to share their thoughts with you.
Whatever be the case, I still stick to my points - do not expect people to have blind faith in you. It is not a right thing to do anyway, for your mentees.
6 comments:
A mentor is someone who understands the insecurities of his mentees and does not mind repeating the same damn things ten thousand times if that's what it takes to make them believe in themselves and continue doing the right thing..
Quite surprised and sad to see that statement coming from you.
I don't understand why disagreements have to be always interpreted this way. Two friends and a mentor and a mentee can "agree to disagree". By expecting that two people would always agree on everything, you are saying that both of you would think exactly alike - and no - that is not possible.
Firstly, I am not saying two people have to think exactly alike. As you said, two can agree to disagree. But that's exactly the problem - people do not do that!
And frankly, friends can agree to disagree - but I do think that when you consider someone a mentor, you need to have blind faith in that person's ability to do what is best for you. Otherwise, do not consider him/her a mentor! Simple as that! Else, how can your mentor ever pull you away from a wrong path, how can a mentor ever perform corrective surgery on you, how can your mentor ever make you see what is right and what is wrong? In that case, a mentor is just a feel good factor for you, since someone you "admire and respect" is always in agreement with you - aren't you super cool?
Firstly, I do not think anyone at all should have "blind faith" in anybody else. Neither a mentee, nor a friend for that matter. Blind faith keeps you from any reasoning or thinking of your own.
A mentor can only guide a mentee and tell him what is wrong and right - based on the mentor's perspectives and experiences. Remember, for the mentee, these are always going to be second hand experiences, which you would agree can never be the same as first hand experiences. It is not necessary that the mentee agrees to what the mentor says always, as the mentee grows and see things around, he invariably is going to start having his own thoughts and his own ideas about what is wrong and what is right. That is growing up - you cannot do anything about it.
As a mentor, you can only try and steer the mentee on a path that you as a senior or as mentor think is right. It is best left to the mentee whether he / she agrees with you and wants to follow.
And perhaps, it is best to not confuse between a friendship and a mentor-mentee relationship. You are talking about both the things together in your blog.
I do want to mix the two, because I am talking about a mentor in the context of personal relationships. And I am not talking about being religious gurus. So yes, I do think that you can be a mentor only when you are a friend first.
Sure - I never said you are talking about being religious gurus. Please - I am sure that was never the point.
And yes, to a certain extent a mentor needs to be a friend first, otherwise people are not going to trust you enough to share their thoughts with you.
Whatever be the case, I still stick to my points - do not expect people to have blind faith in you. It is not a right thing to do anyway, for your mentees.
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